Saturday, April 12, 2014


Ok, so long story short, a month ago I found this cutie out on the street, and she was obviously scared when I started following and cooing at her. But as hungry as she was, I was able to convince her to sit still long enough with some food from the car (After about 30 minutes of chasing). And then picked her up and into the car, she was too exhausted to do it herself.

She was significantly underweight, her nails were bloody, and most of her hair was missing (and not from mange, more like malnutrition). Her ears nose and mouth were all crusted in blood too.

This picture is from her third day with me. She’s been nicknamed Nebula, or Nebby.

The people at my local shelter, a kill shelter, said that even though we filled a lost dog report, no one would come looking for her. Especially because of how she looked. And that there was very little chance she’d ever be adopted. They already had at least 7 pit bulls. I tried to contact rescue groups and not one got back to me. Which isn’t surprising, every no-kill shelter and rescue group I came across is at capacity.

Now the worst part is, I can’t find anyone to adopt or foster her.

I hate to go into personal details but basically I live in a place with breed restrictions and have chronic illnesses than mean I physically can’t care for a dog her size. She’s been with my boyfriend for the past month, and he desperately wanted to keep her, but his mom is an alcoholic and emotionally abusive and has basically threatened to make the dog ‘disappear’ if he doesn’t get rid of her, among other things. Even though he’s doing everything for this dog, paying for everything she needs, and helping me look for a permanent home for her. We basically have until Saturday.

She’s a very sweet girl, loves to cuddle, loves to go out on walks, will fall asleep in the back seat of the car, and is not a fan of the vacuum cleaner.  She didn’t know how to use stairs, has no idea what to do with dog toys or balls, and has already learned to ‘sit’. The people at the shelter estimated that she was between 3-4 years old based on her teeth.

I’m really looking for someone in Alameda County, or the San Fransisco bay area who could adopt, foster or has a connection to a rescue group that would love to have this wonderful girl. She still needs to be spayed and vaccinated. I wouldn’t really be comfortable having her go unfixed. If you’re interested, please message me.

I’m really uncomfortable posting this on my personal blog but I’ve run out of options, It’s a last-ditch effort to get keep her out of a shelter and from being euthanized. If you could please signal boost this, I’d be grateful.


Brain fog


Brain fog


It’s okay to be sad. You don’t owe anyone a performance of being okay when you feel like you’re falling apart. It isn’t your job to smile or hide your truth to make other people feel more comfortable. If it gets awkward, let it be awkward. If people try to silence your pain by telling you to get over it and cheer up because you’re no longer fun or you’re ruining the mood, you don’t have to push away your sadness. You have to honor your feelings and trust that you don’t need anyone’s permission or approval to feel what you feel. You don’t ever have to sacrifice your self care for the sake of people who only want you around when it’s easy and comfortable. Their discomfort isn’t about you — it’s about them and their own limitations, and no matter what they think or say, you deserve to give yourself permission to feel whatever it is you feel. You’re allowed to show your feelings honestly. You’re allowed to talk about your pain and reach out for support. You’re allowed to scream and wail and cry. You’re allowed to be sad. Daniell Koepke (via internal-acceptance-movement)
  • doing a little: in a lot of pain
  • doing a lot: in a lot of pain
  • doing nothing: in a lot of pain
  • doing a little, after a rest: in a lot of pain
  • having enough rests between things: in a lot of pain
  • sleeping: if I can sleep, still in a lot of pain
  • dead:
Friday, April 11, 2014

Anonymous asked: Hi. Sorry to be a bother but how is the amatrip- thingy med working for you? My gp just perscribed it for headaches (ME) & limb pain (fibro).






Hey, you’re not bothering me at all, I’m pretty sure this is one of the politest messages I’ve ever had.

I’ve been on it for about a year, I was originally on it at 50mg, and I take it an hour before I go to bed. I’m on it for ‘helping me sleep’ and just for general pain, there’s nothing specific pain wise. I’m afraid I couldn’t tell you whether or not it works, because I’m on other meds for pain (tramadol, naproxen, lyrica), and I’m also on other meds for sleep (two types of melatonin, phenergan and I think there’s something else, but I can’t remember which). I really wish I could help, but either one of these meds work, or they all work together. I recently upped the dose to 75mg, and again to 100mg, which did help with the pain, but that was also when I started on the tramadol, so again I couldn’t tell you which, but at the higher dose amitriptilyne is also an anti-depressant, so that helps too. 

I’m sorry it took me so long to get back to you, I got in late from work, and I’m sorry I couldn’t have been more help, if your doctor is willing to prescribe it for you, depending on whether or not you have to pay for your meds, I would suggest you prescribe it, I only ever had one side effect, which ever way round it was, I was either eating the entire pantry, or wouldn’t eat anything at all for like a week, there were two meds which were contradicting each other. You might as well see if it helps you at all, and if not you can always come off it.

I used to take it for my chronic nerve pain at 50mg per day and it never worked like one tiny bit! Also due to the “high” dosage I was at, when I came off the med I had really bad “withdrawal” symptoms such as constant headache, nausea and extreme dizziness. Wouldn’t recommend it at all.

something to the think about, just in case.

I’m currently on amatriptyline as my “main” medication for fibromyalgia. I’m only taking paracetamol with it as the doc wouldn’t prescribe me any tramadol. I’m finding it’s working for sleeping as I’m sleeping right through the night whereas before I’d wake up around 3am for a few hours. I’m not sure how much it’s helping with general nerve pain though - I still get bad flares of pain. The one thing I will say though is that I take mine at 8pm, and when I went up from 20mg to 30mg it made me sleepier in the morning for a lot longer, so I’m going to knock the time back to about 7pm to take it.

Honestly, I’m pretty sure it’s doing little to nothing for my fibro pain, but it’s definitely helping with sleeping.

I take amytriptiline for pain through sleep, for the pain resulting from RA. I am on other pain meds like gabapentin, and have found it works well combined. I am able to sleep through the night on most nights.
I will say you have to keep remembering to take it, and not to take it on and off- if not you go into a low form of ‘withdrawal’, among other things you get insomnia.

I’ve been on amatriptyline for about a year now for both my nerve pain and my issues with not sleeping. I have had my dose put up to 100mg at night and I have to say that it helps immensely with my pain at night but not my sleep. I am on about 7 other types of pain killers for my nerve damage including morphine but I still am in agony pretty much every minute of every day. Sometimes I can’t even wear socks but since I started the amatriptyline I am able to put the quilt over my legs which I wasn’t able to do before I started it. Sorry I can’t be of more help! Feel free to message me if you want, Amber x


This is my life at the moment, been 10 months and Crohn’s is still ruining my life


This is my life at the moment, been 10 months and Crohn’s is still ruining my life